mixed feelings

The month of November is almost over and I have mixed feelings about that.  I want Christmas to come so I can have the long Christmas break and be with my family , while getting some much needed r&r in.  And yet, I also am by no means ready for the fast approaching -Christmas and all the stress that can come at that time. 

My Mom has been with us for most of November.  I enjoy having her here, but feel stressed when I have to work so much and she wants me to take her places because she's bored being in the house all the time.   When she goes home the end of this month, I know I will miss her company, and yet, I will love to clean up the extra clutter that is all over my tiny space.  She needs wall to wall shelving and a double door fridge in her guest room....and she would still fill it! LOL    (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree).

Yesterday, I was invited to a book club/social event that was held at a co-workers house. Actually, two co-workers.  They are married and both work at the High School.  Thing is, I never get invited to these things and seldom attend.  This time I really was enjoying myself, but had to hurry home, because my 82 year old Mom, was at my house all alone.  

Most of my Coworkers there were young people, (30' ish) with young children.  A lot of these young couples are also employed by the HS..Mora hires us by two's.  (They did not hire my husband though).  Maybe that is why I don't do the social thing often.  My husband works nights, I work days, lucky me.  We also work in two different school districts so we don't intimately know each others coworkers, like most of these couples at this event.  Don't even get me started on how gorgeous the house, (sparsely and tastefully decorated), was. 

Perhaps the burning embers of jealousy and envy were stirred a little in my heart.  As I thought about it though, I realized, as the serenity prayer says...change the things I can.  I choose to live this way.  I have blessings abundantly given with my every need met.  If I truly am dissatisfied, it is not because I have not the ability to have something it is because of the choices I make. 

As the song goes,"I'd rather have Jesus than anything this world affords today".  For when my eyes are fixed on Him , the author and prefector of my faith, I will want for nothing and be warmed and satisfied by His Glory and Grace.